Filled with red and gold, a Tamil wedding shares many of the same components as a Hindu wedding, but has unique customs that distinguish it from the rest of India. It's a very cosmic affair; the parents of the prospective bride and groom get together to exchange horoscopes, which are then analysed by a priest to pinpoint the best time of year for the pair to tie the knot. Certain months are no-go zones for weddings.
1. Aalathi
The Aalathi is a short blessing performed by two married women, or Sumangalis, the bride and groom both know before they leave their respective homes for the wedding venue. The women circle a tray of light three times in front of the bride (known as manamahal) or the groom (maapillai) to ward off any obstacles. The blessing is repeated at the end of the wedding for good luck as the couple start their new lives together. The sentiment of the Aalathi ritual is to bring light into the lives of the couple ahead of the Big Day.
2. Kanyathanam
The bride makes her entrance at the venue and joins the family and the groom on the Manavarai (Mandap). This is a very emotional moment as the bride's family is giving away their beloved daughter to the groom and his family. There are smiles too however, as this moment also signifies two families becoming one. The bride's mother pours waters over their hands, symbolising her approval of the marriage while the bride's father recites the giving away mantras.
3. The Koorai sari
In Tamil weddings, the bride is presented with a beautiful sari as a gift from the groom during the ceremony. The Koorai sari is typically a traditional Kanchipuram silk sari, red with exquisite gold thread embellishments and beadwork. The bride leaves the Manavarai briefly to change into the Koorai sari and makes a second journey down the aisle wearing her new sari, adorned in traditional heavy gold Tamil jewellery and carrying a fresh floral garland for her groom.
4. Tying of the Thaali
This is the pinnacle of the Tamil Hindu wedding ceremony. The Thaali is the traditional sacred gold bridal necklace which the groom ties around her neck at a very specific hour, symbolising their vows of mutual acceptance and that they are now husband and wife.
Family and friends shower the happy couple with fresh flower petals (like confetti), as traditional music builds to an intense crescendo. The ceremonial song you’ll normally hear as the Thaali is being tied is called the Ketti Melam.
The live carnatic music plays an essential role in the ceremony, helping to build the drama, mask any inauspicious sounds and drawing all eyes to the most crucial part of the ceremony.
No South Indian wedding is complete without it.
5. Kumgumam
Wearing a red bindi on her forehead is something most orthodox Hindu women will do if they’re married, regardless of culture - and it’s no different in southern India.
In a Tamil wedding, the groom gently places Kungumam (vermillion dot) on her forehead for the first time, to symbolise to the world that she is now a married woman. The red hue is said to bring good fortune, prosperity and luck into the home of the bride.
6. Maalai Maatral & Metti
As in Gujarati weddings, there is also a floral garland ceremony in a Tamil wedding. The couple garland each other three times to symbolise their commitment to a life together. In the first two exchanges of the garlands, the groom places his garland (maalay) over the bride first, but for the the final exchange, they garland each other simultaneously to show they accept each other as equals. The priest then pours fried rice into the groom's hands, which he’ll allow to fall through his fingers into the bride's hands below. She then offers the rice to the Gods through the fire and prays for health, happiness and prosperity. The groom slips the minji or mettis (toe rings) over the second toe of each of the bride’s feet. Like the red bindi on the forehead, the toe rings indicate her new status and should always be worn as long as she’s married.
7. Blessings
As the wedding begins to draw to a close, the couple are blessed by their parents and relatives, and the Aalathi is performed once more.
The entire congregation, typically 250 people or more, is invited into the Manavarai in groups to bless the couple by showering them with rice and presenting them with gifts, which are normally cash in a decorative envelope to help them set up their new household after the Big Day.
The marriage is not just about the bride and groom becoming one, but about the unification of the two families. In Tamil weddings, the parents of the couple are just as important as the two people making their eternal vows in front of the sacred fire. The ritual lasts around 90 minutes and is followed by a magnificent wedding feast.
8. Nalangu: The Games
After the rituals are over, the fun and games begin. The priest calls the couple over to play games, egged on by their nearest and dearest. In a pot full of water and fleshly plucked flowers, the priest slips in trinket. The bride and groom compete against each other to find the item first. It’s a best of three, and there’s a surprise at the end for the couple. The games were used in arranged marriages to help the couple bond but are now used to relax the newlyweds - it’s thought that whoever finds the item first will rule the roost in the marriage.
9. Breaking the fast
Some couples fast before the wedding, so this this is the moment they break their abstinence. Family members from both the bride and groom’s side hold up a silk screen in front of the couple for a private moment as they feed each for the very first time as husband and wife.
Traditionally this will be vegetarian snacks, fresh fruit or a sweet pastry. The ritual symbolises the couple’s pledge to take care of each other, through thick and thin, for the rest of their life.
10. Manai Pugu Vizha
Once the wedding rituals are completed, the couple leave for the bride's home first. Traditionally, this is because the wedding takes place at the bride's house or in her village and ensures she is comfortable before proceeding onto the groom's house on the third day after the wedding. The couple are welcomed with an Aalathi, as they stand at the threshold of their new home and a great Virunthu (lavish feast) takes place.
Photos by: Truly Photography by Karthika • www.trulyphotography.com